Camille is here!

It's so strange to be writing while my baby girl sleeps in the next room. It seemed like this day would never come and then like a flash she's here. I kept hoping for an early delivery yet it still managed to catch me off guard. When labor began, I suddenly felt unprepared and it felt as if I was in a dream. The whole birth experience felt surreal as if it weren't really happening to me. Labor was long and hard after my water was broken and ultimately I opted for the epidural once I was 6cm. I also had been up since 6am the previous day with no sleep so I was in need of the pain relief to rest. But rest never found me, as I was 10cm dilated and ready to push within about an hour of receiving my epidural. The pain relief was just what my body needed to get labor progressing faster. I was able to feel the need to push with each contraction despite the epidural and pushed for over 2 and a half hours. Finally, Camille arrived at 8:10pm on August 30th. She weighed 7lbs and 8oz and was 20.5 inches long. When they placed her on my chest all I could think was how much I loved her. I was so overwhelmed and in a daze of pure exhaustion but all that mattered was that little girl. I was able to breast feed right away and cuddled with her for an hour before Luke went with her to the nursery.

The stay in the hospital felt like a high of love and joy. Camille fed and slept like a champ. But the first nights home were a struggle and I found myself tearful and overwhelmed. My milk had not come in but Camille's appetite was huge. I felt unable to care for my own baby and saddened that all I wanted to do was sleep and be left alone. I questioned whether I was strong enough to do this and was filled with anxiety. But as soon as I thought I could take no more, my milk arrived and Camille and I settled into a good schedule. We had a difficult night last night because she had a tummy ache. Luke and I made a good team trying to console our daughter and despite not getting much sleep before 6am, we survived and today has been a much better day.

The most valuable thing I have learned through this difficult adjustment week is to take it one day at a time. I've also learned to be grateful for the easy nights and prepared for the hard ones. I pray constantly for strength and the Lord has provided. Without Him I would be a complete mess right now. I'm sitting here in hopeful anticipation for a good night, but who knows where this adventure will take us...

"...also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Romans 5: 3-5