Greetings from 2013

I can't believe how much time has passed since my last post. Life has been full. Camille is almost 2 and a half years old! She is such a precious child and I am so thankful for her everyday...even in the middle of tantrums and "NOs!" She is Ms. Personality now. I love her sense of humor and her kind-spirit. She will also be embarking on the journey of being a big sister in July! Luke and I are so excited to expand the family. This time around it took one miscarriage and months of trying so we feel especially blessed by this baby. I'm 13 weeks and am still anxious! I have a check up this week and can't wait to hear that thumping heartbeat. These are the hardest months of pregnancy. Life is just so fragile and I take nothing as granted to me. I know and trust that God is in control, but also fear that very same thing. If I experience a loss I know it is for His glory, but I also know that the pain would be excruciating. I find myself so busy caring for Camille and with my new part-time job that I don't pray as often for this pregnancy. Of course, that brings guilt. When I do find myself worrying about what could be, I always send a prayer to God for a healthy, strong baby. It's funny because the second time around I am much less interested in the pregnancy process itself and just want my baby to be in my arms! I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks 4 days so needless to say, I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER and am not even out of my first trimester yet. I've been extremely tired, a little nauseous, and really anxious to "know everything is okay" (I know it's never a guarantee and worrying is futile...but my mind still takes me there). I'm going to try to dedicate time to writing for this little one to document this journey for him/her. I have a tiny boy vibe this time, so we'll see. We find out on February 11th in an early ultrasound the sex and I'm so excited! Here's to a healthy heartbeat on Thursday! Cheers!